in my lifetime
I have been gifted with many mercies
and much grace
one cannot bury a grace
nor bury a mercy
the master is arriving back
and will ask for an account.
despite the things you did
you also did some good
I recall only one
in the year 1965
when the call for Lectors first rang out
I somehow became one, yet I
was only ten years old.
during that Advent season
Masses needed student lectors
in the upstairs sanctuary
the very first reading I was to read came
from the Old Testament
there came to me words like Hittite,
Jebusite, Canaanite, Amorite,
Perizzites, Girgashites, Hivites,
and further whateverites.
I knew not what a goobersite was
nor was my pronunciation correct
this was unacceptable to you
as we were already sexually intimate
and with great effort
taught me who and what those various peoples were and
just why it was important to pronounce them well
so, I made a great effort to return back having practiced
I wanted to be a Lector
I wanted to be a Lector
I recall distinctly my standing in that pulpit on
the right side facing the other children, the nuns, and
the few daily communicants during that cold Advent season of 1965
it boomed out of the sound system as
I stood alone
reading the very words of our God to
the faithful hearers
I pretended that I was a priest
from thenceforth that was
my life’s wish
to be a priest,
like you had been
I never thought for one moment that
what you had been doing was
as awful and
truly wicked as it was.
so unjust, so base, so impious, and so entirely worthless.
you are not.
you are a creation of the highest God with
the breath of life within you, a
precious soul it is.
I want you to know, that
you are forgiven.
I hand you back a portion of the grace of God that has been
multiplied within me
without you even knowing that I have it to give
the clamor has been to fry you like green tomatoes during the summer
in an Alabama skillet.
I cannot in good conscience be a part of that.
no matter who says what to me
I don’t believe that mercy and charity are fake
no, sir. I don’t.
when all the woman’s accusers walked away having
dropped their readied rocks
Jesus, Our Lord, and savior stood alone with her.
I believe he simply said
“Go on your way.”
after, he showed her what he had written in the dirt
“Be careful of those people. What you’ve done was an offense to my Father.
If you do it again you will be justly stoned. I have forgiven you. Now, go on your way.”
looked at him, turned
and ran off
never to do her crime again
Jesus has been so merciful to me and
now I am getting old
I am ill
and I will soon enough go the way of this world
you have committed grave crimes against the
most tender in our midst.
and yet you walk free.
May our Lord forgive you.
turn yourself in.
admit your crimes.
especially to us boys.
we are powerless against such evil.
we cannot be accountable for you.
you are accountable for Edmund.
the man who gives this to you will know how to
contact this little boy.
I invite your contrition.
but, please, never even think of doing these things again and do
walk into the police station and say,
“I am the one you seek.”
a desert owl at midnight might have said this
9:21 pm mst usa
27 August 2018
I am right here, Dear.
Did you hear that Jesus loves us?
I think it’s really true, Doris.
Then what do we do?
Not sure yet. I’m still listening.
Let me know, Harry, okay?
I will, Shoog…
Thanks, Harry. I have been wondering too.
It has a lot to do with that cross. And the blood.
Do you think he really rose from the dead?
That’s what they’re saying.
Maybe I better come in there and listen.
Get in here, Doris!
I’m on mah way.
Somethin’ ta do with not burying your talents?
We don’t even have a shovel, Harry.
Ah, just get in here, Doris!
I’m aaahn mah way!
have we yet to make a proper place for her in
Yellow Rose (of Texas) Publications
Now, I am done with all of this. I received what had been said, to me, to you, to us. And I am tired. But, of my Lord I plead and say:
Aut non licet mihi vivere, Domine, ut cum amicis meis epularer: Venies, venit, occidisti illi vitulum saginatum. Tunc autem exultant lusibus.
I think he could be seen off in the distance.
To him, the Father runs…